Oh no!! Once again the writer for this Aldens page has written the title of a future internet post! Just like with the "Hot Pants - Kicky!" post last year we are forced to come face-to-face with a time travel paradox: the past writes to the future which then writes to the past!
Friends, have we entered an infinite loop of time causality from which never to return? (1) Well we'll see. Perhaps the plaids (2) will help us straighten out things....
It's a Plaid, Plaid World for sure here in this Aldens internet post, errr, I mean catalog page (see what I mean! Which is the past? Which is the future? And where, oh where, is the present in this plaid madness? Arrggghh). Plaid pants, plaid jacket, plaid vest, plaid skirt, yikes! Of course it is for "Snappy Young Separates". Huh? Are they talking about the clothes or the people? Oh I see! It refers to the people who are "separates" in the sense that they are locked in a time travel loop thus "separated" from the conventional arrow of time!! (or am I reading a little too much into that?!?!).
Just in time to save us from a complete plaid slam, we can find solace in the "fake suede fun hat" that Kathy is wearing. I'm not sure how fake suede can be considered "fun", but there it is.
Surely that is it for this plaid induced nightmare from the past, er, present, er, future? Oh whatever...
Double Yikes!! Now we've added plaid knit hats, plaid scarfs, even (
gasp) a plaid poncho! Is the very fabric of space-time being ripped apart and plaid rushing in to fill the void? (Maybe the criss-crossing lines of the plaid itself represents this rift in our universe!)
Kathy in the upper left pulls off the super cute look. Is that Karen Bruun in the middle? Can't really tell.
This plaid aided destruction of causality cannot continue! Can it?........
Triple Yikes!!! Kay is in all plaid from head to toe. She obviously thinks something is funny. Hey there! You may lost in a plaid induced time loop, but here in the present, the very fabric of reality is being shredded into plaid madness. That's nothing to laugh about!
Things are looking grim for us in the "Non-Plaid World" or what's LEFT of it! Can it get any worse?....
Quadruple Yikes!!!! "What's Next" this post, errh, catalog page asks. How can they even say that? Next to what? The past has become the future making the present
undefinable!!!! There is no "next" to even talk about!!!! (As a bonus, check out the groovy collar on that yellow shirt!)
Let's face it folks, time (whatever that word even MEANS now) is running out for us in the real world! We are at the end of all existence. Is there any hope left?.......
That's it!!! Obviously the entire universe has collapsed back into an infinitesimally small point of infinite mass - void of all dimensionality! No longer referred to as either "plaid" or "tartan", these criss-crossing lines of non-existence are now called "Cinnamon Toast N' Honey". Huh? Have words lost all meaning in this bizzaro alternate universe? And how bizzaro is this brave new world? Well for starters, Kathy is wearing a black wig!
I may have just given up any hope of finding meaning in this new Plaid, Plaid World! Maybe, just maybe we can have
one pic of Kathy and the gang in non-plaid outfits....
Nope!
footnotes:
(1) Listen everyone, I don't want the comments to delve into that whole Block Universe model (aka the eternalist model) of time versus the Augustinian model (aka the presentist model) of time debate. I mean those arguments and counter arguements have been going on for centuries. There's no reason to hash them out here. Besides, obviously from the tone of this post you can tell I'm on the Block Universe side so you presentists will just have to grit your teeth and go along. Okay! (Besides your model of time is obviously WRONG anyway).
(2) I hate to get all technical and everything, but the words "plaid" and "tartan", while often used interchanbably, actually have different meanings. Tartan refers to the entire class of fashion while the word "plaid" is used when refering to a specific tartan pattern used by a Scottish clan. Of course "It's a Tartan, Tartan World" wouldn't quite have the same catchy cadence so we'll let it slide this time.
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